Saturday, January 24, 2015

Really Crappy Day

Yesterday was a really crappy day.

Thursday evening I was driving home from a Chemistry lab. I had stopped at Carl's Jr. to pick up some food for my siblings (such a nice seester, I know). Both of my parents were out of town on business trips, and I was too tired to go home and make dinner for them after a four hour lab.

There was a lot of rush hour traffic. I was nearing a green light when the car in front of me slammed on their brakes. We weren't going very fast and I had enough space between us that I was able to slam on my brakes too without so much of a hassle. (Fun fact: I did the "mom seatbelt" to save my hamburger in the passenger seat. #priorities) The light was still green and we were sitting there waiting for traffic to move.

All of a sudden, I'm thrown forward into my steering wheel as I hear the sickening crunch of metal and shatter of glass. My brain goes into overdrive as I realize that my car was just hit and I was in a car accident. I was too afraid to move and I shook all over. I didn't want to look behind me to see just how bad the damage was. It all happened to fast -- it was just like a scene out of a movie. I was soaked in a large diet coke and I was cold and I was scared. I don't remember who, but one of the guys involved in the accident asked me if I was okay. I don't even remember what I said besides, "Is it bad?"

We all managed to pull over into a strip mall that bordered the intersection. My car snapped over pieces of plastic and glass as I drove into the parking lot. It didn't take a rocket scientist to realize that those noises were the sounds of broken off pieces of my car.

*insert sobbing emoji*
When we pulled over, I learned there were actually four (!) cars involved in the accident. The reason the guy in front of me slammed on his brakes was because the first guy (a high schooler) didn't go even though there weren't any cars in front of him and the light was green (I have a good hunch that he was probably texting). The guy who slammed into me was going over the speed limit (45 mph+) and wasn't paying attention when he crashed into me. The force pushed my car into the car in front of me, although we still had a good amount of space between us so the damage wasn't bad at all comparatively on his end.

We exchanged information, etc. etc. etc... I was still so jittery when we finished that I sat in my car for a bit before I could even start it again. I wasn't sure how drive able my car was, but I was determined to get home. My neck and back hurt, I felt sick to my stomach, and I just wanted to be home. I started driving my car back and it smelled a little funky. I didn't really care and I kept driving. Not even a minute later, my car quickly started filling up with smoke even though I had all of the windows open. I could barely see through all of the smoke. I knew I didn't have a choice and I pulled over. I was so afraid something was going to catch on fire.

I pulled over, got out of the car, and stood there for a second. Well, shit. My car was done. It was cold outside and I didn't have a jacket. I couldn't sit in my car because it was full of smoke. My parents were out of town. My phone was almost dead. My whole body hurt. I had no way to get home. I was seconds away from sitting down on the ground and crying.

The whole back of my seat popped off from the impact. :(

I took a moment to feel sorry for myself, then I put my big girl panties on and called a family friend with the last battery I had left on my phone. She picked me up, we loaded my crap into her car, and ditched my poor little guy. 

I went to urgent care (which was really scary and it sucked) and she recommended I go to the ER (which I didn't). I got a prescription for muscle relaxants (which did nothing to help with the pain) and finally went home. I ate about half of my cold burger and went to bed. 

And later that night I woke up with food poisoning from that damn burger and puked my brains out.

I spent all of today on the phone with insurance people. I hate how technical everything is in car accidents. There is a lot of paperwork and recordings and things that need to be sorted out for a claim. My car is pretty much totaled now, and I need a car for my job and to get to school. I was able to get a rental car, but my insurance company only covered me for four days (maybe it's because I'm under 25? I don't know, but it's dumb). I'm not sure how I'm going to find a car in four days (especially because I have school on Monday and Tuesday and car places aren't open on Sundays). 

lol I got a Prius as my rental

The whole thing is just really stressful and I wish that it never happened... But live and learn, right? It just taught me that no matter how careful and skilled you are as a driver, sometimes things are completely out of your control and you have to be prepared if something like that happens. Safe cars are important for that reason. They protect from the unknown and uncontrollable. I've gotta say... My car held up really well considering the impact.

lol come on dude...

I finally got my car back... The tow truck driver left the car at my house when I was at the doctor today. He literal left it in my front yard. What the hell, dude. Now it looks like my family is a bunch a hillbillies with a beat up car sitting on the front lawn. Just call me Billie-Jo from now on.

The thing is, it could have been a lot worse and I'm so thankful that it wasn't. I may be super sore all over, and my whole abdomen feels like I went to some ab workout class that I did NOT sign up for, but I'm okay and that's really what matters. And lastly, Little Guy wasn't in the car, and words cannot even describe how relieved I am at that.

Today I have to find a car. 

Wish me luck. 

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Losing a Friend

I haven't even started and I know this post is going to be a tough one to write.

Today we put down our furry family member, Agua. It was one of the toughest things I have ever done.

It's so incredibly hard to believe she's not waiting for me at the front gate when I get home from work. She's no longer going to nap at the foot of my bed. The warm body that would sit on my feet when I sat on the couch is no longer here, nor will she ever be.

No. She's in a hole in on the side of our house. No longer will I be able to rub her soft, furry belly. No longer will I be able to have a buddy to swim in the pool with. No longer will I have someone to snuggle with when the tears are streaming down my face over some silly problem.

She's gone. And I just don't think I can grasp that yet.

I almost expect her to come prancing down the hall when I call her name. But she won't. And she never will.

Cutest lil puppy ever

Agua had been suffering from diabetes for a while now. We struggled to adapt to a new normal when we learned we would have to give her daily insulin shots. She would have died a year ago if she had never been diagnosed. The shots changed her completely. She was a puppy again and we really thought she had years left. But the lumps on her tummy kept getting bigger. And harder. And she started sleeping away the days and eating less and less and less. Her legs started giving out and it became hard for her to walk. A few days ago, it got to the point where she couldn't even hold herself up to pee. That's when we knew. It was time.

The hardest thing above all was that I was in denial. I thought everyone was against her; they were tired of giving her daily insulin shots and just wanted to be done. They didn't want to watch her to make sure she made it outside to go to the bathroom. I thought she would be fine if we just upped her insulin dosage. It worked before, so why wouldn't it work now? But there wasn't enough time to experiment with that. She was dying and there wasn't much we could do about it.

Uh, yeah. That's why we called her Agua. She was OBSESSED with the water.

I think I finally realized I was in denial the other night. I was babysitting for three boys and I was talking to one of them while he played Minecraft. I told him about Agua and I told him how I was really sad about her going. He told me this:

"Sometimes you gotta just let go. There's only so much that doctors and medicines can do. It's hard. But that's what's gotta happen in life."

I almost started crying right then and there because damn he was right. That boy is smart for an 8-year-old.

Little Sissy and her best friend

Time will go on and the sadness will lessen but nothing will ever replace you, Agua-Dog. I love you and I always will.

Thanks for letting us lay on you, swim with you, and dress you up in ridiculous outfits. Thanks for being there on days when we needed to be cheered up. Thanks for being you, girlie. 

*** I wrote this post a couple of weeks ago when this whole deal happened, but I was just too sad to write more than a little bit at a time. I know this post is sappy and emotional and just kinda blah overall but if you've ever put down a pet, you know how much it really just sucks. And, to be honest, two weeks later and it still sucks just as much. And I just don't know if or when it'll ever stop sucking. But that's life. And we just gotta keep living in the moment and enjoying the short time we have on this planet. You never know when your time is up.

As always...

Friday, January 9, 2015

Cheers to 2015

Happy New Year, dear friends!

I hope you all have had a wonderful start to 2015 so far. It's so funny how much can change in a year (don't we say that every year, though?). I think the start of a new year is the perfect time for reflecting on the past year... on the good and on the bad. I'm at a different place in my life right now than I was back then and I'm definitely a lot happier overall. I guess moving from temps at below freezing to warm and sunny skies does that to a person, huh?

I have a few resolutions/goals for this year:

  • be a better texter-backer (I suck at texting people back. My grandma is a way better texter than I am! Things have gotta change this year, McKenna Lee...)
  • read more books (I just spent $35 at the bookstore yesterday so hey! We're off to a good start already!)
  • stress less (don't let other people drive me crazy, don't worry about things I have no control over, yahdee yahdee yahee... ya know.)

Totally gotta print this bad boy out for a gallery wall.

Yeah, so, the problem is, I'm a pretty scatter-brained person when I get stressed. I usually forget about all of my resolutions/goals once I get back into the swing of school and my focus shifts to impending due dates of doom. 

Although, in 2013 I set a goal to write in a journal every day and I actually did

The start of my year (no really; as in the first few minutes) was downright magical.

New Year's Eve was rainy and kind of crappy weather all day long. Around 10:30  or so, it started to sleet and get windy. (Um, ew, that's what I moved away from.) Around 11:50 or so, we went outside to watch our neighbors' fireworks show. (They go down to Mexico every year and smuggle a shitload of fireworks over the border just for New Year's. As sketchy as that sounds, I've gotta admit... It's awesome.) The rainy sleet had sorta progressed into sorta-snow... snow dandruff, if you will. Five minutes before midnight, it started SNOWING. As in full on FLURRIES of MAGICAL GOODNESS. We're talking the size of freaking QUARTERS.

Have I mentioned before I live in the desert?!

Um, yeah. It was a pretty big deal.

And against all odds this MAGICAL GOODNESS OF AMAZING HOLIDAY SPIRIT actually stuck on the ground and we woke up to a white blanket of beautiful snow. I couldn't stop smiling the whole day.

Soooo of course I woke up at 6 am so I could drive around and take pictures. (Well, that and I had to pick up my party animal brother from a party. Yeah, the Boy and I are pretty much polar opposites in that department.)

How cute are these wittle sheepies?

This picture feels oh-so country. Oh, and you can see a huge mark on my windshield. Oopsies.

HOLY TREES. Where can I get some of these bad boys?

Okay, okay. So it really wasn't that much snow, but for a desert girl this was practically a blizzard! 

Hope y'all had a great New Years!