Sunday, July 12, 2015

Blogging from my Deathbed

Can I just tell you what really sucks? It was just getting into summer in the good ol' Northern Hemisphere. Then I had the brilliant idea to jump on a plane and head somewhere that was in the dead of winter. Brilliant, brilliant idea, I tell ya.

But no. It's not the ice on the ground or the wind gusts coming up from Antarctica (worst thing in the world). It's not the frostbitten toes no matter the shoe choice or the general feeling of being half-hypothermic all of the time. No. It's not even the fact that Starbucks doesn't have pumpkin spice down here (with is simply TRAGIC). No, ma'am.

This is where my family is right now and I hate them. /// via Daniel Oines

The worst -- and I mean absolute worst -- part of winter is the sickness. Before I continue, I should let you know I am the QUEEN of hand sanitizer. It's not really that germs freak me out... but, yeah, they freak me out. I hate being sick. Any time I touch anything with the remote possibility of thousands of colonies of little nasties living upon that surface, I whip out my hand sanitizer. But here's the problem y'all: I currently co-habitate (is that a word?) with two monkeys aged two and five. These creatures would probably like the window of a subway car if they had the chance. *shudder*

If  you have ever spent time around kids -- or as I affectionately call them: children of the corn -- you understand that they are constantly within two inches of your face at all times. Why? I am not sure. Maybe they just want to show you their undying love by being close to you. Maybe they want to infect the whole world with their deadly infectious pathogens. Who knows? I sure as hell don't. I feel like it's pretty 50/50, actually.

Inevitably, as I write this, I have fallen ill. Oh, we ain't talkin' about a case of the sniffles. No no no. Heavens no. I seem to have caught the sickness, whatever it is. I have been lying on my deathbed (aka the couch) for the past few days struggling through my last supper (aka soup and honey/lemon tea) and distracting myself from my desperate strife with stories from happier times (aka chick flicks on Netflix). My fever has been gliding me in and out of consciousness (or is it the Tylenol 3 w/ Codeine I've been popping like candy?) only to we awoken by an unrelenting cough as I race to grab tissues to catch the blood ricocheting off my insides. (Blood? Phlegm? Meh, same thing.) Only then am I reminded of the excruciating pain in my abdominal muscles from being forced outwards during my coughing fits as I slowly curl up into a fetal ball on the floor (or just hug my heating pad tighter because getting onto the floor would actually require ENERGY).

Yeah, basically I feel like shit.

And it's weird because I actually think this is the first time that I have been 100% alone while I've been sick. I've always had a family member or a roommate to commiserate with. (Misery loves company!) The people I live with high tailed it off to Hawaii this week so it's just me. I was so excited to have a mini vacation to see a bit of the North Island in my time off... but no such luck.

Where I originally planned on going this week. *sigh* /// via Graeme Churchard

And I think the worst part about it is that I can't really see the doctor. I mean, I can, but it's $150 to go see the doctor and then full price for whatever medications they prescribe because I'm not a citizen here. (Is this what it feels like to not have insurance in the U.S.??) I guess I just feel like I have to be pretty damn sick to warrant spending that much money and I'm not sure if I'm at that point. Yet.

So in the mean time, I'm just going to stick it out and hope for the best (even though Google has diagnosed me with acute bronchitis or pneumonia but YOLO) because I'd rather spend $200 on clothes or makeup or a new pair of shoes. (How sad is that?)

Please excuse me while I pop another pill and finish off the bottle of this cough syrup.

1 comment:

  1. I hope by now you are feeling a lot better! I bet you are lovin it in New Zealand!!!